1. They're all the same

• 2. They're all the same 😰😰😰

Let's talk about the movie Acrimony by Tyler Perry. I don't know how many of you have watched the movie but if you haven't this post would still be beneficial to you.
I'm going to be drawing relationship and life lessons that everyone can apply in their lives from this movie.

1. Do not ignore the red flags.
There are lots of times in a relationship when the red flags are glaring for all to see but we ignore them because we feel they'd change or because they promised never to do it again. You discover that your partner has a flaw that you can't deal with but you continuously tell yourself they'd change after marriage. That's a big lie. Nobody changes after marriage. A lazy person is a lazy person whether married or not. A cheat is cheating and marriage wouldn't change that. We tell ourselves lies and continue to be blind to our partner's fault.
Why do we expect people to change after marriage? You're just building yourself up for a big disappointment if you think putting a ring on their finger suddenly changes who they are. It's either you both decide to work it out and turn a new leaf or you say your goodbyes before things get really bad.
If cheating is a deal breaker for you then don't marry a cheat expecting they'd suddenly become faithful because you exchanged vows. It's either you trash out that flaw or you both go your separate ways.

2. Do not build your life around anyone.
A lot of people especially females abandon their dreams and begin to live with those of their partners. It's like marriage is the ultimate goal and when they're married all they become concerned about is helping their partner achieve his dreams.
I'm not saying helping your partner to achieve his dream is a bad idea but how are you so comfortable in living someone else's dream? How is it possible that you don't have a personal purpose and dream?
What you're doing is putting your happiness in someone else's pocket and tieing your sense of fulfilment to another person and that's very dangerous. If things don't work out the way you've mapped them out, you can become depressed and even go crazy.
Never neglect yourself and your growth while helping another person grow.

3. Do not sow in another's life solely because you want to reap. Do it because you want to.
A lot of people do good to others solely because they want to benefit. They want to be paid back in the same coin. When this is the case and they don't reap from their efforts they become disappointed and tag the other person as ungrateful, they find it so hard to move on. Do good to others because you want to and not because you expect them to pay you back. Your reward might come from somehow else. If they're not grateful for the help you've rendered to them, move on. It doesn't take anything from you. You shouldn't let their gratefulness ruin you, make you bitter and scare you from rendering help to other persons.
Be good for you.

4. Think through every decision.
Some of us are very irrational especially when it comes to decision making. We don't take a pause to think through our decisions. Never make life changing decisions in the heat of the moment. Take a step back and objectively look at things. Don't out of anger or excitement take actions that you would regret for the rest of your life.

5. Assumption is the worst kind of knowledge.
Never assume. Let your knowledge be based on facts and confirmation. I know assumption takes place based on prior knowledge but still take a further step to confirm so you don't assume wrongly.

6. An outside opinion isn't always bad.
I know a lot of people talk about third parties in relationship and how they're bad but that isn't always the case. Sometimes we are so blinded by love and the affection we have our partners that we do not see them as they truly are, we see what we want them to be and that's where a third opinion is important. They aren't in love with our partners and so they can see them objectively for who they really are.
We should also learn to apply wisdom when taking advise from a third party. Even if means objectively scrutinizing what they've said and looking for the best possibly way to apply their advice. At the end of the day the ball is in our court, to listen or not to.

Have you seen the movie Acrimony by Tyler Perry? What lessons did you learn from it? Please share in the comment section.
If you haven't read my review of the movie click on this LINK to do so.

TYLER PERRY’S ACRIMONY REVIEW

The past few weeks have brought a new craze on social media, everyone is talking about the newly released movie Acrimony by Tyler Perry which starred Taraji P. Henson. Acrimony is trending because everyone is trying to apportion blame to either Melinda (Taraji P. Henson) or Robert (Lyrio Bent), the chief characters in the movie. Everyone is asking, who is to blame? Who was wrong? Who was right?

Prior to seeing this movie, I had seen several personal opinions about Acrimony on almost all popular social media networks. Reading these reviews made me angry at Robert, I had read several write-ups where he was solely blamed and called lazy and really bad names. I was already angry on behalf of Melinda because I felt she was a victim of love. But then, I watched the movie and I realized that things aren’t really always as people say they are, that people have a different perspective and that we see things based on how we are. In summary, all I’m saying is that I’ve watched the movie myself and I don’t agree with a lot of opinions I aligned with prior to seeing the movie.

Now to the big question: Who’s to blame in the movie Acrimony, Robert or Melinda?

I’d start by analyzing the character of Robert. The first thing we notice about Robert is that he is a dreamer, and he’s dedicated to his dreams and his dreams alone.  The second thing is that Robert is very manipulative, he manipulated Melinda into getting him his first car, and he manipulated her into paying for his tuition and he also got her to mortgage the house she inherited from her mama just to propel his dream. He was so selfish and everything had to exist in making his dream come true or he didn’t think it useful.

Melinda on her part has severe anger issues, the first time we meet her she’s sassy and continuously hits Robert just because he bumped into her, from that point onwards I knew that was going be her flaw, she’s someone who lashes out without objectivity, she doesn’t process information, she just lashes out.  The first time she caught Robert cheating; she tries to bring down his van and in the process permanently damaged her ovaries. She’s also very vulnerable and gullible, who spends their inheritance money on buying a car for a guy who obviously can’t maintain it. I don’t have a problem with her paying for his tuition but I do have a problem with her indulging in his excesses.
Melissa eventually builds her life around Robert; she drops out of college to work jobs so Robert can chase his dreams. This was her most fatal mistake, you don’t build your life around someone else’s dreams or you’d end up disappointed. Throughout the movie, we didn’t see what Melinda actually wanted to do for herself, she was going to college because her mama wanted her to and then she dropped out when her mama died. She believed so much in Robert’s dream that she also became a dreamer. If she wasn’t so delusional she wouldn’t have reacted the way she did at the end. She was working two jobs while Robert was doing nothing; she worked tirelessly for 18 years to keep his dream alive.

Robert is a man with a one-dimensional brain after he was rejected at jobs because of the felony records he could have gotten other jobs and still pursue his dreams but he was just focused on his dream and I say that is a bad trait. Humans weren’t made for just one thing; we were made to multi-task. And I believe he was that way because Melinda mothered him, she became his provider and never pushed him to fend for himself, when they got separated he was working as a dishwasher because he knew no one would fend for him anymore.
There’s a big lesson here for ladies, you should never start what you can’t finish. Melinda was tired and drained from being the sole provider and support system of the home. You also should never build your life around anyone.  Melinda's greatest aspiration was to see Robert’s dream come through, if she pursued her own goals and dreams with as much commitment as she did for Robert, she would have been at a much better place, both financially and career-wise.  As a human being, one has to have their own passion and chase their own dreams not carrying other people’s cross.

Robert was persistent with his dream, for 18 whole years he kept on sending letters to Prescott & Howard until he got his big break. This is the reason why I know he didn’t fight for their marriage; he threw in the towel quickly. The truth was that Robert loved his dream more than anything else including his marriage because if he loved his marriage half of how he loved his dream, he would have at least taken two years to move on.

Melinda, on the other hand, has a problem with moving on. This is because she had built her life around the dreams of Robert, so when she saw that his dreams had become a reality she felt she was entitled to all the promises he had made to her over the years. Yes, Robert compensated her but compensation wasn’t what she was owed. She was owed all the promises he had made to her over the years and that was to be by his side while enjoying his wealth with him.

Melinda became mad because she couldn’t move on; she didn’t want to accept reality and she became desperate and dangerous. It shows that she was helping Robert not necessarily because she loved him but because she felt one day she was going to get a reward. Another reason that fueled her anger was that it was Diana, maybe if it were another lady she would have found closure and moved on but realizing that Diana was the new woman in his life, was a deal breaker for her.

At the end of the day, I blame Melinda for her misfortune. She was a pushover, an irrational and gullible person. If she could think for herself she would never have been in a deep mess with Robert, the signs were there but she ignored them. she had the choice to move on with the money he had given her and build up herself but no she decided to hold on to something that was already gone.

Have you watched Acrimony? How did you feel after watching the movie? Who do you think is to blame at the end? What lessons did you learn from the movie?
Drop your comments; I’d love to hear your opinions on the movie.

Olivia Sose.